put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
