I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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