im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
