i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
