Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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