fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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