Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
