youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
we should paint friendship bongs
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