I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
