i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You were trust falling into bushes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
