we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
