Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
