Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
