Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
