At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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