Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize