so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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