at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish you could order shots online.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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