Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
thus making me awesome and them whores
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
