If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
