i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
