We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
