Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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