Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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