Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
