reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
