This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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