either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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