I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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