I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
