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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize