I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
