he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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