Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
