too bad you live with your parents still
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
