Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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