Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
