I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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