There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
