Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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