I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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