Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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