You can't motorboat a personality
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is wine microwaveable?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
