talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
