Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
