btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
