The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
