He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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