...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how can u be prego again
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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