did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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