I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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