she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
