So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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