I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
