So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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