Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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