and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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