I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
