I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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