The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
