oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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