i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
