They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
