I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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