Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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