He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
