i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
try to milk me bitch
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
